Thoughts on this week

I think the above quote sums up how I feel about the picture below. I've walked this road before, I was just wearing different shoes. 

My mom told me that when I was in the hospital as a child, I hated getting my IV out more than getting it put in. The nurses told her that it was because I associated my IV with being well. Outside is where I get sick, in here, I am well. That was how I made sense of the world. All of those fears over leaving the hospital came flooding back this weekend as we were bringing Anthony home. I was able to be brave in the ICU, he was getting better by the hour. Now that he is well and at home, I'm scared that maybe he won't stay that way. He just caught a cold virus and eventually he will catch another. I can't protect him from them and that is what scares me.
I think I had convinced myself that the one other time he'd been hospitalized was just an isolated occurrence. I thought once his lungs got a little bigger he would be fine. 

He wasn't like me.
Then this happened.
It's impossible for me to look at this any other way except through my own experience. The mask he wears during his breathing treatments smells exactly like the ones I used to use and nothing triggers the memory like a familiar scent.
I guess what I have to do now is stay in this moment. The past is the past and I can't change the future no matter how hard I try. At this moment he is happy, healthy, and full of life. I praise God for that! We've done all we can do to get him well and keep him well. Today, he's doing awesome... maybe a little ornery... but still awesome.